I have a similar issue with my mother. She takes everything, and I do mean everything literally. My most recent example--I was relaying a conversation to my Mom in which I said, "He told me it was his dead wife's birthday," and her reply was, "He said THAT?!" and I once again had to explain to her, no, Mom, I was paraphrasing. Surely there must be a term that describes this phenomenon as well as you've explained what phatic communication means!
Um, could that missing term possibly be ... autism? <rictus grin>
Seriously, though, that sounds very autistic to me. We seem to be hardwired to perceive language as purely and exclusively a way to share information; we tend to be very precise in saying exactly what we mean, and we have to consciously learn and remember that other people don't always follow that rule. (And even once we 'know' that, we may get tripped up in implementing that knowledge. After fifty years I have a whole complex layer of custom software that checks every statement for clues that a non-literal meaning is intended ... and not only is that resource-intensive, it's still wrong about 20% of the time.)
From a linguistics perspective, perhaps the word you want is 'semantics'?
I mean honestly, looking at my current subscriber list, it's probably *not* required; I was planning ahead for the eventual possibility that someone born after 1990 might stumble across my archives. <wry>
There's a bit in Terry Pratchett's Bromeliad trilogy (I think it's in Wings, the third book), where the portable sentient computer explains to the nomes that the sounds the big folk are making don't actually mean much, they're just a way to say I Am Alive And So Are You. Which was an incredibly helpful introduction to the concept.
(I loaned my copy of the Bromeliad to my friend Justin in high school. For several months thereafter when he saw me he greeted me with "I am alive and so are you.")
Yeah, Pratchett's written a few YA books in addition to Discworld. They're ... alright. I have a special fondness for the Bromeliad but I can't unreservedly recommend it; it's early-ish Pratchett so the expression of basic decency & humanity is still a little wobbly, and there's an unfortunate amount of well-meaning-dude sexism.
Justin is quite literally one of the more awesome people I know. My main high school regret is not having gotten to be better friends with him; we sort of constantly did the (in retrospect autistic) dance of "you seem really cool and i do not quite know how to talk to you."
I have a similar issue with my mother. She takes everything, and I do mean everything literally. My most recent example--I was relaying a conversation to my Mom in which I said, "He told me it was his dead wife's birthday," and her reply was, "He said THAT?!" and I once again had to explain to her, no, Mom, I was paraphrasing. Surely there must be a term that describes this phenomenon as well as you've explained what phatic communication means!
Um, could that missing term possibly be ... autism? <rictus grin>
Seriously, though, that sounds very autistic to me. We seem to be hardwired to perceive language as purely and exclusively a way to share information; we tend to be very precise in saying exactly what we mean, and we have to consciously learn and remember that other people don't always follow that rule. (And even once we 'know' that, we may get tripped up in implementing that knowledge. After fifty years I have a whole complex layer of custom software that checks every statement for clues that a non-literal meaning is intended ... and not only is that resource-intensive, it's still wrong about 20% of the time.)
From a linguistics perspective, perhaps the word you want is 'semantics'?
The fact that the Kool Aid guy breaking through a brick wall requires a footnote makes me feel my age!
I mean honestly, looking at my current subscriber list, it's probably *not* required; I was planning ahead for the eventual possibility that someone born after 1990 might stumble across my archives. <wry>
There's a bit in Terry Pratchett's Bromeliad trilogy (I think it's in Wings, the third book), where the portable sentient computer explains to the nomes that the sounds the big folk are making don't actually mean much, they're just a way to say I Am Alive And So Are You. Which was an incredibly helpful introduction to the concept.
(I loaned my copy of the Bromeliad to my friend Justin in high school. For several months thereafter when he saw me he greeted me with "I am alive and so are you.")
I had never even heard of that trilogy! Everyone always mentions Discworld; I didn't realize he wrote another, unrelated series.
Your friend Justin sounds like someone whose sense of humor I would appreciate.
Yeah, Pratchett's written a few YA books in addition to Discworld. They're ... alright. I have a special fondness for the Bromeliad but I can't unreservedly recommend it; it's early-ish Pratchett so the expression of basic decency & humanity is still a little wobbly, and there's an unfortunate amount of well-meaning-dude sexism.
Justin is quite literally one of the more awesome people I know. My main high school regret is not having gotten to be better friends with him; we sort of constantly did the (in retrospect autistic) dance of "you seem really cool and i do not quite know how to talk to you."